Rene is always talking about our chances of success and feeling anxious prior to scans and I realised this time I feel very differently about the whole process. I don't feel worried or anxious, I am not really fazed about the shots and feel very relaxed about it all. I am concentrating more on having a holiday and just enjoying myself, getting my school work done and socialising.
I have had a pretty tough year and I really needed a break. I know MB does too, but being a mother is a 24/7 job and even being "me" is a busy job. I am the one in my family who everyone comes to for advice or help and although I love everyone dearly it's been hard this year to continue that role when I have struggled with our house flooding, the miscarriage and now my dear friend having cancer.
One of my sisters thinks I am cold hearted at times because I don't show her affection but if she knew me better she would know I am the complete opposite and I am very soft hearted which carries the risk of being hurt very deeply. I try to protect myself from this. My emotions are kept for times when I am alone or with Mb.
This round of self cycling I am aware of my cold hearted attitude. If it works great, yet I have low expectations. I need to protect myself form more heartache and count the blessings I already have, which are many. I have 7 eggs so far and everything looks ok.
To Jay, I love you heaps and miss you. I miss your cuddles and the silly pranks we play. I miss playing soccer with you and listening to loud music in the car with you and joking around. I hope you understand that even Mum's need a little break sometimes, even though It's not easy doing IVF I am having a nice time. Well done on your goal in basketball!!!! You are a superstar. Remember to believe in yourself and be confident.
MB, thanks for doing such a great job with Jay and cooking and getting him ready for school, I hope this extra work has not put a strain on you. Don't worry too much about the house I can clean it when I get home. Love you xx
Some pics:
Me relaxing by the pool. Whilst some Indian people bleach their skin, we bake til we are golden brown. Ah the grass is always greener on the other side!
I think Rene misses her husband !!! LOL!!!
Rene chilling by the pool
Rahul came to pick up Meg, Bob and Toby
Rahul's new driver, Toby!!!
Or maybe Toby would be better suited to nightclub owner? This child is even better looking in real life, he is going to break some hearts. Everyone just loves him. Tried to get a shot with Meg and Bob but Toby had his eyes shut in all the pics!!! Great having a drink with Meg and Bob and lots of cuddles and kisses with Toby!!
I have had a pretty tough year and I really needed a break. I know MB does too, but being a mother is a 24/7 job and even being "me" is a busy job. I am the one in my family who everyone comes to for advice or help and although I love everyone dearly it's been hard this year to continue that role when I have struggled with our house flooding, the miscarriage and now my dear friend having cancer.
One of my sisters thinks I am cold hearted at times because I don't show her affection but if she knew me better she would know I am the complete opposite and I am very soft hearted which carries the risk of being hurt very deeply. I try to protect myself from this. My emotions are kept for times when I am alone or with Mb.
This round of self cycling I am aware of my cold hearted attitude. If it works great, yet I have low expectations. I need to protect myself form more heartache and count the blessings I already have, which are many. I have 7 eggs so far and everything looks ok.
To Jay, I love you heaps and miss you. I miss your cuddles and the silly pranks we play. I miss playing soccer with you and listening to loud music in the car with you and joking around. I hope you understand that even Mum's need a little break sometimes, even though It's not easy doing IVF I am having a nice time. Well done on your goal in basketball!!!! You are a superstar. Remember to believe in yourself and be confident.
MB, thanks for doing such a great job with Jay and cooking and getting him ready for school, I hope this extra work has not put a strain on you. Don't worry too much about the house I can clean it when I get home. Love you xx
Some pics:
Me relaxing by the pool. Whilst some Indian people bleach their skin, we bake til we are golden brown. Ah the grass is always greener on the other side!
Or maybe Toby would be better suited to nightclub owner? This child is even better looking in real life, he is going to break some hearts. Everyone just loves him. Tried to get a shot with Meg and Bob but Toby had his eyes shut in all the pics!!! Great having a drink with Meg and Bob and lots of cuddles and kisses with Toby!!
Yes Toby will be a heartbreaker! Isla has her eyes on him already.
ReplyDeleteawwww, nice post. i blocked out my emotions as well when taking the shots and didnt feel any pain until a day to the last shot. am very good at bottling up my emotions. keep enjoying yourself
ReplyDeleteSometimes, we have to go into self-preservation-mode in order to survive all this and move on to the next step in the process. I totally understand where your heart is at right now. Please know that you are not alone and I am cheering you on from the good 'ole USA!
ReplyDeleteCold-hearted?? You? I dont think cold-hearted describes you at all! And at least you aren't an emotional bombsite like me!! haha. I've cried on your shoulder enough times to know what a sympathetic and loving person you are. We're all thinking of you here and continue to send you my best and warmest thoughts and prayers to you. Lots of love, F xx
ReplyDeleteMy that's a handsome baby in those photos, though looks like a drunk driver behind the wheel.
ReplyDelete