In reference to the article in the Sydney Newspaper I would also like to say MY opinion. I don't need a press conference, I don't need my photo taken I just want to express my sadness at the opinion's written in this article. I really do hope that the couple in mention were misquoted and mis represented because I don't want their beautiful baby to read that article when they are older and feel their journey into this world was anything other than a gift, a miracle that would not have come to life if it wasn't for SCI.
Due to my own circumstances and the ill effect a "natural birth" had on my son's health and my health I do not believe it is fair to put surrogates through natural labour, I personally, through my own experience of being lucky enough to have one child would not want to ever have a natural birth again (in fact I am physically unable due to the damage of my son's birth). I believe psychologically it would not be fair to push this upon surrogates no matter what country they are from. It is ok for a male doctor or a person who has never given birth to have their opinion yet it is very hard to have an informed opinion of how another woman should give birth if you have never given birth, or never had complication's from a "natural" birth. I believe in a woman's right to choose, they may prefer a natural birth but please do not argue about the money and lack of choice if they choose a c section, because it is the woman's choice and Doctors advise that should be respected before money.
I don't understand how IPs can have grievances over small amounts of money that are used to fast track their exit out of the country or benefit the health of their surrogate. In years to come how will the child feel if they come across an article about their parents complaining about being charged extra money to bring them into the world? I want my child to be proud of their story and celebrate their entry into the world. I am forever grateful to my surrogate and clinic and the country who has given us this opportunity.
India is a wonderful country and just visiting there has enriched our lives and made my family understand that we are all human, we all have feelings yet we all have different cultures and ways of doing things. There is more than one "right" way of doing things. We need to all respect cultural differences and not put our western attitudes upon other's.
I have self cycled through SCI and received much better care than in Australia. In Australia you don't get 24/7 response from Doctors and client liason officers and you don't get treated as a person, more like a number. I was closely monitored and my health was never at risk as was the case in Australia. My recovery was worlds apart from the experience I and many IVF friends have had in Australia.
I hope we can all work together to change the surrogacy laws in Australia and remember when dealing with another country that communication errors can occur and you need to ask lots of questions, clarify any mis understandings, respect different cultures and communicate your needs with your clinic. If your needs conflict with the physical, psychological, medical or cultural needs of the surrogate or your baby please respect this decision. The surrogate and the baby MUST come first, no matter how much money it costs, these are human lives we are talking about.
It does concern me that the press surrogacy is getting is working to undermine what we all what to achieve and will in fact shut down more states to commercial surrogacy, shame and judgment is the last thing any of us want included in our child's life story.
Due to my own circumstances and the ill effect a "natural birth" had on my son's health and my health I do not believe it is fair to put surrogates through natural labour, I personally, through my own experience of being lucky enough to have one child would not want to ever have a natural birth again (in fact I am physically unable due to the damage of my son's birth). I believe psychologically it would not be fair to push this upon surrogates no matter what country they are from. It is ok for a male doctor or a person who has never given birth to have their opinion yet it is very hard to have an informed opinion of how another woman should give birth if you have never given birth, or never had complication's from a "natural" birth. I believe in a woman's right to choose, they may prefer a natural birth but please do not argue about the money and lack of choice if they choose a c section, because it is the woman's choice and Doctors advise that should be respected before money.
I don't understand how IPs can have grievances over small amounts of money that are used to fast track their exit out of the country or benefit the health of their surrogate. In years to come how will the child feel if they come across an article about their parents complaining about being charged extra money to bring them into the world? I want my child to be proud of their story and celebrate their entry into the world. I am forever grateful to my surrogate and clinic and the country who has given us this opportunity.
India is a wonderful country and just visiting there has enriched our lives and made my family understand that we are all human, we all have feelings yet we all have different cultures and ways of doing things. There is more than one "right" way of doing things. We need to all respect cultural differences and not put our western attitudes upon other's.
I have self cycled through SCI and received much better care than in Australia. In Australia you don't get 24/7 response from Doctors and client liason officers and you don't get treated as a person, more like a number. I was closely monitored and my health was never at risk as was the case in Australia. My recovery was worlds apart from the experience I and many IVF friends have had in Australia.
I hope we can all work together to change the surrogacy laws in Australia and remember when dealing with another country that communication errors can occur and you need to ask lots of questions, clarify any mis understandings, respect different cultures and communicate your needs with your clinic. If your needs conflict with the physical, psychological, medical or cultural needs of the surrogate or your baby please respect this decision. The surrogate and the baby MUST come first, no matter how much money it costs, these are human lives we are talking about.
It does concern me that the press surrogacy is getting is working to undermine what we all what to achieve and will in fact shut down more states to commercial surrogacy, shame and judgment is the last thing any of us want included in our child's life story.
Lucylu you make a very good point in that it is very sad that articles like these can affect the positive inroads that others have made to attempt to reverse the law so other couples can go down the only road that is available to them to have a family. Do your research first before you go down this road but don't contribute to blocking the road when you have been so lucky to have a child. Thank you for writing your opinion. The safety of Surrogates and babies should be paramount as you said and I believe they are at SCI.
ReplyDeleteGreat post there! There is way too much judgment about surrogacy out in the media world and it's often ill informed. I did alot of research before we entered into a surrogacy arrangement and i continue to be delighted with our decision, treatment, communication and responsiveness from SCI and Dr Shivani.
ReplyDeleteVery well said!
ReplyDeleteWe worked with the media (channel 7) 3.5 years ago to show what modern surrogacy is (no genetic link to the birth mother) - and to educate Australia that this is a valid option to create a family. So why did we go so public? Because the collective state attorney-generals were proposing national surrogacy laws that didn't even recognise the different types of surrogacy there are, let alone protect IPs in any way.
ReplyDeleteWe unfortunately ended up with a much more sensational story than we would wish on anyone (our surrogates husband wanted us to reduce our twin pregnancy to a single), but our key message was still loud and clear - surrogacy in India is not without challenges, but the rewards far outweigh anything you go through.
We are still, and will always be, indebted to India for the miracle x 2 we received. And we want others to also have this opportunity. Unfortunately I believe this article will do more harm then good. If nothing else, you're working under the laws of another country - so why do you believe you should be protected from your home country?? Research and know what you're in for. And don't shut the door for others.
Great post. Thanks for sharing. And oh ... 46 days to go?!?! That's insane!!!! :)
ReplyDelete